True Love

 Photo credit @Google

Many a time I've heard the expression:'there's love in the air'. Well,I've been searching for it in the oxygen around my area but can't seem to find it. Could it be it's really not in the air but in actions? Could it be that one they say is rare to find and hardwork to sustain? Well if it is, let me tell you the bits and pieces I know about it from observation and firsthand experience. 

It isn't that one at first sight; it isn't that one you meet someone and the next minute, day, week, month or months and you're already taking off your clothes, touching and entering places prematurely. It is building the relationship on sand because the focus is on pleasure rather than on their strengths, skills,values and motivations that can sustain a lasting union or weaknesses you can both work on.Afterall, when shopping for materials to build your house aren't there qualities you look out for in them? So at the early stage rather that look out for fire resistant virtues to build with, the focus is on sex ,how to better the sex, if the sex organs are big enough, etc. The main focus is on the body, not the person; then what happens when a finer, sexier body comes along? The feelings switch, the former body gets dumped.Fellow humans with feelings and hearts that can break get used and dumped like toilet paper to their detriment. You might argue that millions play around with premarital sex and still get married,but how are majority of them today, are their homes happier? When your spouse stays out late, do you fear he's out with someone else?If there is trust, fear will have no place  but he 'touched' you when you were not yet his wife, so what guarantee do you have to trust he's not out there touching another who's not his wife too when the union was never built on godly values and self-control? Or you do not know godliness and self-control in courtship translate to same in marriage? Well i've heard of some wives who put condoms in their husband's bag whenever he's leaving the house; but what guarantee do you have he's not out there having his wild fun without the condoms? So each day you live in fear of contracting a disease or having another woman show up with children fathered by your husband plus the rivalry that ensues. 

The rates of separation,divorce and even uxoricide/mariticide resulting from some is another can of worms a single post is too small to open. Some others to avoid the stigma endure the consequences but live separate lives under one roof. What a price to pay for uncontrolled sexual passion! The same passion that sent some into marriages they shouldn't be in as they couldn't opt for an abortion or having a child out of wedlock. So much for not keeping sex in it's rightful place. Love isn't toiling with so many feelings and messing up countless bodies and lives until you find your spec. The casualties on your trail are people's prospective spouses. Why eating a meal when you're not sure it's yours? Possessing  something not legally yours in any country is a crime because by keeping it you deny the rightful owner full enjoyment of it. Then why do majority see nothing wrong in experimenting sex with people they're not sure or even know they will not marry? Well I know a few who fell into wrong hands when they were still very naive but grew up, knew better, picked up the broken pieces and built better lives and found nice people who focussed not on their past  but on who they have grown into, but not all get that lucky. Some have to pay in one way or another for the rest of their lives for few moments of selfishness like we're still paying for Adam's sin today. Why employ your first years to make the last miserable? 

True love is that one that focusses on mutual high regard for each other. No, this is not a body to be used to quench burning desires, but a person to be loved, cherished and nurtured.Here, you focus on building yourself and your significant other into your/their best versions; you both put in your best to bring out the best in each other. You focus on setting goals and reaching them together and experience the joy that results from mutual hardwork for mutual benefits. You fight hard to avoid moral looseness in all it's forms; you avoid whatever displays of affection could lead to eating anything not yet ripe for eating or not even yet yours to eat, to the detriment of other worthwhile aspects of your personal growth and development. Fruits are sweeter when eaten ripe, so is anything done at the right time and for the right reasons. True love does whatever it takes to build the strength to let things happen only when they should, and that's when blessings, peace and happiness that result from a clean conscience comes.Really 'the softest pillow on earth is a clean conscience...

When it is true love, you don't even just jump in; you take your time first to build your own person, develop skills, get to ķnow yourself better viz: strengths, weaknesses, quirks and skirmishes, and how best to manage them before bringing your baggage into another's life. Or you do not know your poorly sorted baggage can ruin another's happiness? When it's love, your aim is not to bring your problems into another's life hoping they help you find solutions when they also have their own issues to sort. That's selfishness, not love. Is anyone's sole purpose on earth just to babysit others and their problems? True love is selfless and humble .So like Socrates said, "man know thyself ". A large part of life is work, So love moves you to get your acts together first, to work hard on yourself for yourself before attempting to knock on the door of another's heart...When it's love it grows stronger and better with time, and like gold, no stress, no heat, no adversity makes it diminish in value. They only get it polished and more refined. Yes, gold and love are same-- both undestroyed by 'heat' or whatever other external influences there might be...

This kind of love is beautiful and rare. With true love,problems are few and it's the kind of love we deserve; the very flavour others deserve to receive from us. That's the love the world needs...My observations...Yours are welcome too.You never can tell who might benefit from them..

Jochebed.